Wednesday, November 25, 2009


My daughter is my best best friend (BBF) and my best friend forever(BFF). I admire her.

She works diligently at moving her life forward. She always tries to do the right thing. She dresses for work stylishly and professionally and always looks beautiful, even when she is schlepping around at home. She did not learn her style from me, thank god. It is innate to her own sensibility.

When she was little, she was shy, compliant, and I only had to tell her once. Of course, that did not last. When she became a teenager.... well, let us just say I was glad to see her exert her will and break out of her shell. Once all that foolishness was behind us, we were able to find one another again and enjoy our relationship.

She is a good daughter. I understand now how I could have been a better daughter to my mother. My daughter has a tremendous will, which has served her well as she moves forward with her education, her career, her marriage and what I call "life electives" - motorcycling and photography for now. Women spend a lifetime learning how to manage their will gracefully and she is making great progress. There are a few people who have learned the hard way to not mess with my daughter.

There are characteristics evident in each human being from a very young age. My daughter, being quiet and agreeable for the most part, gives bullies the idea that she is a pushover. In first grade, the mean little neighbor girl found out the hard way just exactly how much abuse my daughter was going to accept. I heard a scream of rage followed by screams of the neighbor girl running home crying to her mother. My daughter threw a piece of brick directly to the back of the other little girl. I hate to say it, but if anyone ever deserved a brick to the back, that little neighbor girl did. Of course, a parent can not reward brick throwing, but in my heart I was glad to see that other child get her comeuppance. This illustrates one of my daughter's life tasks - how to set those boundaries early and maintain them so that a brick is not needed at the final hour. On the other hand, if it takes a brick, then throw it with all thy might.

Once my daughter married and moved far from Kansas, I never expected her to return to settle here. But she and her husband bought a house literally "down the road" from me. It seemed so far fetched to hope they would even come back to Kansas that I never even imagined they would one day buy a house so close by. She never admitted to thinking the Flint Hills were beautiful or that the sky was spectacular here, but now that she lives in a house with a dramatic view of the prairies, she is beginning to see what I see and love what I love. It takes a while for the subtleties of Kansas to reveal themselves.

We can talk about the old bad times, the events that occurred in our lives due to my inexperience, my negligence, my mistakes, and the mistakes she made growing up. She confesses things now when I never had a clue at the time. It is all forgiven and all we are left with is a warm understanding and a wonderful relationship.

My daughter's dedication to complete her Masters degree is what I admire most right now. Writing is difficult for her. It is frustrating, a true stretch. But, she is so determined. I have no doubt that she will make it. I see the effects of a good education in my daughter. She will never be just a "mere supervisor" the way I have been. She is director now in her current job, and who knows what her future holds? The daughter has exceeded the mother in all ways, and that is the way it should be.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Ahh, the beauty of the mother-daughter waltz ... And a, one two
three ...