Sunday, March 20, 2011

Crazy Thinkin'

I admire the determined people who successfully thread themselves through the obstacle course of higher education. It is not for sissies, not for the weak. My daughter tells of a particularly self-aggrandizing, misogynist professor who, on more than one occasion, had foreign women students in tears. Too bad there is no way to weed those old bastards out of the system. Now that women outnumber men in higher education, it will happen. My own daughter earned a Masters Degree, all old bastards not withstanding, and that is why I have in my possession the commencement program. I recently took the time the read the entire program. I think I know now why some people desire to become PhD's. They have crazy thinkin', pure and simple.

For your perusal, the esteemed titles of various doctoral dissertations:

Dr. Jacquelyn June Chini - Comparing the Scaffolding Provided by Physical and Virtual Manipulatives for Students' Understanding of Simple Machines

Dr. Sreeram Cingarapu - Synthesis of Metal and Semiconductor Nanoparticles: Progress Towards Understanding Digestive Ripening

Dr. Mausam Kalita - Synthesis and Labeling Strategy for Indirect Detection of Estrogen-Derived DNA Adducts Using Aqueous Quantum Dots

Dr. Tej Shresta - Algebraic Deformation of a Monoidal Catergory

Dr. David Andrew Olds - Food Defense Management Practices in Private Country Clubs

Private Country Clubs? What?

There are many dissertations dealing with the long term effects of drugs and steroid use in cattle and pigs, which immediately kill my appetite. There are explorations of the gas engine performance, and some dealing with theoretical numbers. Most titles are quite clear, though. The best dissertation title is by Dr. Terrie Ann Becerra - Muddying the Waters: The Failure of Water Restoration Bureaucracies in Kansas.

As Billy Barber would say: "Plain words, simple spoke."


Anonymous said...

I love Dr. Chini's about "simple machines" with the rest of the title being unintelligible.
Maybe if one deciphers the titles, the rest of the dissertations are a piece of flour, sugar, butter, eggs cocoa, baking powder and a dash of vanilla baked in a 350 oven for 35 minutes.

Anonymous said...

oh yeah, congrats to Anda!