Saturday, July 2, 2011

Bicycle Seats

Yesterday I went with my daughter to the acupuncturist located in the town where my son lives. We were able to meet him after the appointment to enjoy a few hours of quality family time, just the three of us.

My son has an expensive sport bike he rides hell-bent for leather on the rugged trails at the local reservoir. All this modern technology but no one has developed a bicycle tire that does not go flat at the slightest strain. On the trip to the local bicycle shop we discovered a serious bicycle event taking place downtown during the 101 degree weather. Many physically fit people of all ages were coming into the shop needing bike parts, adjustments, tweaks. I enviously admired their fit bodies as I waited for my kids to wander through the large store. I had one thing in common with all of those physically fit biker types: sweating! Everyone in the great state of Kansas was sweating yesterday.

My people-watching was rewarded when a young woman wheeled her bicycle in. She was dressed in a stretchy white athletic leotard-type outfit. She had a dirty scuff on her left shoulder that I thought meant a wreck or skid on the pavement. The girl was young and attractive and in any other clothing I am sure she was a knock-out. In the flimsy sweaty white leotard, her ample derriere was most certainly the inspiration for the lyrics "fat bottomed girls you make the rockin' world go 'round." She inadvertently gave me another reason to not bicycle for fitness because, clearly, some rear-ends are immune to the healthy effects of cycling. My own rear end would courageously and heroically resist - even should I find a bicycle seat large enough.

Then... her companion walked in... wearing the same stretchy white athletic leotard-type outfit with matching lettering and sponsorship symbols. Time slowed as he wheeled his bike past, oblivious to the old fat woman sitting off to the side. Lord, thank you for the stretchy white athletic leotard-type outfits young men wear when riding expensive bicycles.

All eyes in the place swiveled from the young lady's hypnotic jiggling to the young man. I looked around the room and every eye was upon him. The men were clearly wishing they could wear a white leotard as well and therefore be in the company of a bicycling partner as attractive as the young lady. The women (and likely a guy or two) were just wishing. My kids came around the corner right then and we left the shop. That place certainly had a variety of bicycle seats.


Li'l Ned said...

hahahaha. Nicely put. Now you know why I still enjoy (watching) bike racers and nordic ski racers at my advanced age -- all the cute bums clad in lycra! As for terminology, my cycling-mad sweetheart corrected me decades ago on the proper names for all thing bicycle-related. A 'saddle' is what you sit on. A 'seat' is what's on your rear end, and is what sits on the saddle.

Jackie said...

Accordingly, Li'l Ned, I used the term "seats" appropriately! lol