Saturday, August 17, 2013

How The Universe Conspires Against Me

I knew I should never have conceded to wearing those goddamned orange and lime green shoes! Right away, I commit a classic Crazy Old Lady act of vehicular senility.

In order to save myself a step, I left the hatch open when I backed down the drive, where I intended to unload a forty-five pound bag of dog food. It just so happens someone planted a twin hackberry tree a good fifty years ago in anticipation of the day I would grow up, buy this place, become senile, and back down the new drive way.

I was watching in the rear view mirror to gauge how closely I was getting to the tree. I forgot the hatch was up even though it was not visible as I was looking out the back of the car. I remember the $1000 insurance deductible though.


Anonymous said...

We call this type of insurance in Dutch "own risk" ... :-)

Jackie said...

That better not mean the insurance won't pay anything on it...

Kathy said...

Oh nooooooooooooooooo..

In our family, we just say 'The Stupids were helping'. Do you know The Stupids books for kids? Get them out of the library if you haven't read them. The Stupids apply to all adult occasions of stupidity. Through the years, The Stupids have helped us thaw out the freezer (unplug it to use some power tool and forget to plug it back in afterward ..... three days later, open freezer to take out some meat, and find it awash in thawed meat juices, sprouting 50 lb bags of grain, you get the picture) ..... go hunting (hit deer with car one dark night in November) ..... etc. It's very comforting to have The Stupids to take the fall. Good luck with the insurance.