Dogs!

It is July in Kansas so of course it is hot - as in triple-digit heat index. When I open the front door the heat is immediate and unpleasant, like a blast furnace. The table scraps in the trash rot immediately and that odor can be detected quite a distance from the trash bin. It is another reason I do not enjoy summer as much as the other seasons. Worst of all is to step out into the cool of the morning (cool being relative) to get a nose full of something dead and reeking in near proximity to the front door.

Somewhere a dead critter's enticing decay beckons to Jake's canine senses. He brings it home, to the front of my house, where he can leisurely enjoy consuming it while maintaining his watch dog duties, which he does quite poorly. He brings it home to share with Mattie and, whether he intends to or not, with me as well. I get the fun job of clearing it away.

At least once a season, I step out the front door to be greeted by the rotting carcass of some mortal creature. There was a small mass of bone and unbelievable stench on the front walk yesterday. It contained some flesh and what had to have been a portion of a skull. The distinctive jaw bone and teeth of a opossum was grinning up. Retching and cussing silently, I scooped it into five or six plastic grocery bags nested together. I was hoping no germs could fall through the gaping molecular holes of that much plastic but I think they could and likely did. The whole mess was wadded up and thrown into the trash bin. Easy enough solution but there is nothing to be done about the stinking dogs. It takes a few days before that horrific smell wears off of them. This is the main reason why I do not like dogs to lick me. I know that at some point in their canine life they have consumed part of a rotting dead creature - not because they were hungry but because it is in their omnivorous genes to scavenge like jackals. Bleah.

So, no dog is currently being petted. Mattie does not get to play fetch. Upon pain of death no dog is allowed to lick my hand or arm, or even put his or her nose close to my person. I was thinking the gruesome dead-carcass portion of summer was already behind me but this morning I found the tail and spine next to the car.