You and Your Mama

I ran across an internet video of a talking head passing judgment on fat people. I know it is hard to believe that anyone would take to social media to make fun of fat people, but yes, it certainly happens. Being fat and being old are the last two hold outs for socially acceptable buffoonery and bullying. I said "socially acceptable" - not that those two states of being are the only thing that people are targeted with shaming and criticism and intolerance. Basically, everyone is the butt of someone's joke these days.

I could only think of one thing to say to the arrogant, uneducated videographer: "Fuck you. And probably your mama, too." People are so damned ignorant that they believe obesity is as simple as eating too much, or eating the wrong thing. If you are fat, it is believed to absolutely be your fault which therefore makes you fair game for the collective shaming, jokes, and all manner of other insulting behavior.

Of course, every fat person feels as if becoming fat was in his or her control but actual scientific studies show that science honestly does not understand all the causes of obesity. It certainly does not know how to help people without also subjecting them to risky, incredibly unnatural surgical methods or dangerous medications that often ultimately cause heart failure. Of course a person bears some responsibility, but if losing weight and keeping it off was easy, there would not be a fat man, woman or child on this planet. - never, ever in the history of human beings. No one WANTS to be fat - except sumo wrestlers.

I was not fat when I was young. My metabolism was normal. Even after the birth of my first child I was able to lose weight relatively easily. But sometime in my later twenties, something changed. The genes I inherited from my maternal grandmother kicked in, and what I was used to normally eating suddenly went straight to excess pounds. I have tried a dozen fad diets, exercise regimens, diet supplements and support groups. I am able to maintain whatever regimen until I have lost around thirty pounds. For whatever reason, I begin to falter at that point and soon I am back in my normal routine. The weight comes back plus some, and after 40 years of this, here I am - the object of fat shaming and jokes from a particularly ignorant asshole on the internet sharing his pseudo-expertise. If I knew where he lived I would egg his house every week for as long as I could get away with it. Then I would pay someone to egg his house in my absence.

Of course, fat people (plus immigrants and poor people in general) have been blamed for the skyrocketing cost of health care. Fat people have been villainized as the lazy, irresponsible lard asses causing everyone to pay more for health care. What about fat people who are healthy otherwise? Perfectly healthy? I have arthritis in my knees - which is not caused by being fat. Arthritis is exacerbated by being overweight but does not cause it. I know perfectly healthy-looking people who are diabetic, have heart problems, high blood pressure and all manner of other ill health. I am not diabetic, do not have high blood pressure, and though there is some weakness in my heart, it is not heart disease. I also know "normal" people who have never been overweight who need their hips, knees or shoulders replaced. But, go right ahead and blame the overweight folks. We have broad shoulders. We can take it.

I have spent too many years being ashamed and feeling as if I should have been able to avoid being fat. After all, I am not a stupid person. I am not a genius but I am also not a Forest Gump. I know all the currently accepted reasons and failings for why I am fat. I was looking through old photos one day and found a picture of my grandmother and all her sisters. And yes indeed, there in black and white was the proof of my genetic inheritance. These were women who never even had the opportunity to eat fast foods, not until very late in their lives. If they wanted food, they had to either grow it or raise it, preserve it, or buy ingredients from the store. Then they had to laboriously combine these whole food ingredients into consumable food, which took a LOT of time and effort and burned a lot of calories. Hard to overeat in those conditions yet, there they were, all of my female kin, overweight, some more than others, but certainly fat.

Of course I wish I was slender! No one wants to be fat! No one appreciates the judgmental looks if you happen to use an electric cart in the grocery store. "Why are you even in here buying food?" If my grocery cart was full of sugar, potato chips, slabs of bacon and cases of soft drinks, then you have my permission to glare at me. Otherwise, you know what you can do... and probably your mama, too.